SkeptiCal Conference 2022 Speakers
SkeptiCal challenges your notion of all things science and critical thinking.
Tickets on sale starting APRIL 2!
Kay Rurzweil
The Singularity will NOT be Televised
The moment when computers became sentient and overtook humanity happened yesterday while you were napping. Now we’re all living in a simulation in which the movie “The Matrix” is mererly counter-propaganda. You’re just a D-cell in a vat, and this talk won’t make a difference because it’s ALSO counter-propaganda. WAKE UP, SHEEPLE!
Kay Rurzweil is a technology luminary, multi-millionaire, and future pseudoscientist.
Ken Hamb
Proof of Humans and Dinosaurs Living Together from New Mexico
Mr. Hamb will present startling fossil evidence from New Mexico of humans and dinosaurs living together. The little-known “Onyate Man” consists of an Allosaurus holding the partial body of an Australopithecus in its jaws, proving the coexistence of humans and dinosaurs. This fossil has been hidden from the public since excavated by the New Mexico State Resources Paleo Division, but now it will be revealed to be the death-knell of evolution
Ken Hamb is an Australian by birth, a former school teacher by trade, and currently a creation science entrepreneur. The founder of the American creationist ministry Answers in Genesis, he is the party responsible for both the Creation Museum and the Ark Encounter, the latter of which is known more informally by alliteration enthusiasts as the Ark Park
Andrew Snakefield
Microchip Alien Fauci 5G Autism Gates Vaccinations
(and other FACTS that THEY don’t want you to know)
Mr. Snakefield discusses the unrefutable evidence that lots of random words put in sequence and repeated often can be used to “just ask questions”.
Trigger warning: This talk discusses microchips at length.
Andrew Snakefield was a doctor. He requests that you do not ask about his medical license during Q&A.
Alex Jolts
Beacon in a Fact-Free Fog
Fresh off a litigation loss, a rejected offer to buy-off his victims, and missed depositions, Alex Jolts will explain how gay frogs are playing the roles of Sandy Hook crisis actors.
Alex Jolts is is an American radio show host and a walking opinion. Jolts runs the website Infowarts & All, devoted to conspiracy theories, fake news, and a really, really big ego.
Hubert Mandrake
This Webpage is Watching You
This webpage is conscious. This website is conscious. The interwebs am conscious because all things am conscious. And your dog predicted that because your plant told him. Or her. Actually I’m not sure if dogs use pronouns, so nix that.
Dr. Mandrake is a biologist and author best known for his hypothesis that everything is conscious and everything remembers everything, and it’s important that you remember that.
James Van Prawn
Your Dead Relative, Who’s Name Starts with an “M”, Says “I Love You”
Many people talk to the dead, but the dead talks back to me. All the time. They just don’t shut up, and they love to make broad, vague statements that apply to anyone. Your dead relative wants me to tell you that you need to come to my seminar. Unless you don’t really love that relative, in which case it’s a different relative. This one starts with an “S”, not an “M”.
James Van Prawn is a clairvoyant and spiritual medium. He has written numerous books and consulted on several television series, giving the dead a voice that makes much less sense than when they were alive.
Macaulay Culkin
I AM NOT TYLER HENRY, DAMMIT!!!
This will be a short talk, simply setting the record straight. Mr. Culkin is apparently tired of being confused with psychic Tyler Henry.
Actor Macaulay Culkin is most famous for his role in the “Home Alone” films of the 1990s. He does not claim to speak with the dead, nor to hear their responses.
Kieran Culkin
MY BROTHER MACAULAY IS NOT TYLER HENRY, DAMMIT!!!
This will be an even shorter talk, reinforcing the previous talk. Mr. Culkin is apparently tired of listening to his brother rant about being confused with psychic Tyler Henry.
Actor Kieran Culkin is most famous for his role in HBO’s “Succession”. He does not claim to speak with the dead, hear their responses, nor have a brother who speaks to the dead or hears their responses.
Derp Derp Chopra
Quantum Quantifying Quantities of Quanta
(Sponsored by Quantas Airlines)
Understanding quantum theory without love is exactly like understanding why Infinity alleviates innumerable creativity. It makes no sense. So why do physicists insist on leaving love out of all of their equations? Simply put, they have no way of quantifying it in their science. The secret of the universe heals essential photons and Imagination projects onto cosmic chaos. While existence is entangled in an abundance of love, transcendence comprehends a symphony of fulfillment. And we’ll talk about my new book, which you should buy.
Derp Derp Chopra is the author of 42,000 books and a prominent figure in the New Age Movement. He understand way more than you. Trust him. And buy his new book.
Stanton Freman
Aliens Told Me that I’m Not Nuts (And Other Things the Government Doesn’t Want You To Know)
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Stanton Freman is a retired nuclear physicist and professional ufologist who resides in Fredericton, New Brunswick, Canada. He is the original civilian investigator of the Roswell incident and has been about government-silenced alien secrets for more than 50 years.
John Glenn Voliva
Toward a Compromise on the Shape of the Earth
The shape of the Earth has been a bone of contention for too long, with bigotry and prejudice blinding both sides to the true solution: the Earth is a hemisphere. The northern portion of the planet -- mistakenly called the North Hemisphere -- is a flat disk, centered on the North Pole and bounded by the equator at its rim. The southern portion of the planet is a true hemisphere, bounded by the equator around its top and by the South Pole at its bottom. This compromise obviously solves the empirical and conceptual problems afflicting round-earthery and flat-earthery alike. Supporters of the compromise include the eminent Harvard biologist E. O. Wilson (see his Half-Earth, 2016).
John Glenn Voliva is a direct descendant both of John Glenn, the first American to orbit the Earth, and of Glenn Voliva, who as ruler of Zion, Illinois, in the 1920s ensured that the town's schoolchildren were taught that the Earth is flat. As such, he is in a perfect position to offer a compromise on the shape of the Earth.
Mercedes McSchmitz
Astrological Marketing to the 1%
Everyone knows about the Astrological Houses, but until Ms. McSchmitz conceived of combining her previous real estate background with her new-found astrology career, no one had conceived of using astrology as a marketing tool to encourage members of the 1% to purchase even more houses. Yes, the 12 Astrological Houses are an excellent prod to the ridiculously-wealthy to over-consume: the ultimate status symbol soon will become possessing a dwelling reflecting each of the 12 Astrological houses. Your first purchase will be in House 1 and will reflect “Self”, whatever that means. The second purchase is a natural, as the 2nd Astrological House is “Possessions”. The third house will have a resident clairvoyant medium to reflect the 3rd Astrological House of “Communications”. The Fourth Astrological House, “Home”, may even be lived in from time to time. Each client will purchase 12 houses in this manner, reflecting the 12 Astrological Houses, ending up with the logical 12th House: Self-Undoing.
Mercedes McSchmitz is the pen name of an astrologer who years ago gave up astrology because her horoscope told her not to be so gullible. She then turned to real estate sales, realizing that she had not been the only gullible astrology column reader. Her current business venture, “A House Can Be A Home – or 12” allows her to combine her two enthusiasms: real estate and joining the 1%.
Virgil Nakatoshi
The Cryptocurrency and Cryptobiology Conspiracy
There are unrecognized links between cryptocurrency and cryptobiology: both of them begin with “crypto”, Greek for “hidden”, or “secret”, and both of them are mysterious. Only a tiny percentage of Americans have seen Bigfoot, a chupacabra, or Champy (the Lake Champlain monster), and only a tiny percentage of Americans have any clue what cryptocurrency means or how it is used. The hidden nature of the two crypto phenomena reflects a governmental conspiracy to keep the public in the dark about hidden animals and secret money. The cryptocurrency and cryptobiology conspiracy is a natural outgrowth of government efforts to cover up the Roswell alien autopsy, hide the cure for cancer, and prevent the public from recognizing 9/11 as an inside job (although it may have been the Israelis), and many other examples of governmental overreach.
Virgil Nakatoshi is a cryptobiologist who has studied Bigfoot, Yeti, Mokele-mbembe, and other cryptids. He has pioneered the use of a block and tackle device to lift large cryptids, should he ever encounter one. His patented machine involves the use of chains with familiar block and tackle pulleys, which has prompted him to describe his device as a block chain.
Entertainer: Slappy Smith
Because It’s OK to Slap Speakers this Year
Coming off a big Oscar moment, it seems appropriate to simply have the facts slapped out of all of our speakers. Wake up, and welcome to SkeptiCal 2022!
Disclaimer: SkeptiCal does not condone violence. This should be considered an “unregulated medical procedure” used to expel facts and induce alternative facts.